The 16 Types of Japanese Moms
Written by Harumi Gondo
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One of my greatest accomplishments in life is full-heartedly conforming, embracing, and fulfilling my duties as a Japanese kindergarten mom.
While juggling Japanese mother duties, I also got certified as an MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) type practitioner, and created a mothers- type community and NPO, as well as incorporated my own company to conduct company training .
In my six years as a Japanese mom and I’ve met many different mothers who I have categorized into 16 types.
Although this does not perfectly describe every Japanese mom, it is my rough guide to the types of moms that I have met!
The Perfect Mom (ISTJ)
Perfectly preened and groomed, and her kids are also always perfectly groomed. Will go to extreme lengths to perfectly execute all duties and responsibilities expected of her from the kindergarten . They can be judgmental toward mothers that do not conform to Japanese mom norms.
The Friendly Perfect Mom (ESFJ)
Also perfectly groomed but also has a perfect smile and perfect social graces. The Perfect Mom is usually jealous of the Friendly Perfect Mom. This mom is usually the mom that you see in Japanese commercials and magazines.
The Boss Mom (ENTJ)
Will often strategize to become PTA president from Day 1 of her child’s entrance into kindergarten . Builds up her network of allies and supporters to create a perfect system when she takes over as PTA president. Teachers and other moms are usually scared of this mom.
The Boss Mom 2 (ESTJ)
When there are two of these types they will battle it out, both seeking to be Top Dog. She w orks hard for her community and can be protective of those in her group, but is also very vigilant to keep everyone in their place and ss not afraid to speak her mind.
The Supporter Mom (ISFP)
The Boss Mom 2 always has a Supporter Mom in her network. She is always supporting the Boss Mom and making peace when Boss Mom makes waves. Sometimes she gets exhausted and cries but is usually always in the background helping to make the group run smoothly.
The Very Normal Mom (ISFJ)
Always behind the scenes and helping other moms in need. Always gentle and patient with everyone, and is loved and trusted by teachers as well as other moms. She is the standard that all Japanese pamphlets and mom training manuals describe.
The Lone Wolf Mom (ISTP)
Often keeps to herself. If spoken to will either talk too much and then get embarrassed later or will respond with one-word answers. When her feelings get hurt she will seek out revenge by reporting the incident to the kindergarten principal.
The Natural Mom (INFP)
Usually into natural products and environment-friendly clothing and products. She and her kids often look like they just woke up and rolled out of bed. Is usually very good at listening to fellow moms’ feelings and anxieties.
The Social Mom (ENFP)
Not afraid to be different and exciting but does it in an endearing way and so is often surrounded by a small and tight network of friends. Does not like to be pressured to conform to what all the other moms are doing. Loves making mountains out of molehills. Viciously gossips if bored.
The Drama Mom (ESFP)
Is always where the excitement is. Loves gossip and always ready to be a listening ear to people’s troubles. Very good at getting other moms involved and often involved in high drama with other moms.
The Weird Mom (INTJ)
In a society where conformity is highly valued, this is the term that is most shunned.
This mom is seen as “weird ” by other Japanese moms. She has oftentimes given up trying and just avoids the company of other moms and is focused on her own interests.
The Weird Mom 2 (ENTP)
Is quite social and a large network of friends and is more vocal about not caring about conforming to be a normal Japanese mom. She can be a bit rebellious if she is asked to conform to Japanese mom norms.
The Different Mom (INTP)
She does not really know how to conform and tries her best to smile and keep nodding to keep the peace but ends up exhausted trying to keep up with the other moms. Also known as “Otaku Mom”.
The Charismatic Friendly Mom (ENFJ)
Shines out warm energy and charisma. She is often a flurry of warmth and smiles but can also be a bit vague with details. She is always ready to support a cause and is often involved in helping communities to thrive.
The Energizer Mom (ESTP)
The Mom who is always going at 200% energy level. Often a whirlwind of talk and movement, she comes and goes in a hurricane of speed and energy. She floats from one group to another and is also often the cause of drama. Can provoke others when bored or hungry.
The Nice Mom (INFJ)
She always has a nice thing to say to everyone and is loved by other moms and teachers. But is also seen as mysterious and private as she does not share her own personal feelings or opinions.
